My Lonely

Let me introduce you to my lonely
Hey this is my lonely
It chooses no time nor place
It chooses no memories nor pain
It doesn’t matter if it’s 2am or not
Sometimes my lonely visits me even when the sun is still brightly shining
It turns days to nights
It never fails to make me feel gloomy
Hey this is my lonely
It knocks on my door but I refuse let it in
However, it seems to have a key
It will slowly open the door to my mind and will slide into my thoughts
It won’t let me sleep no matter how many sleeping pills I take
No matter how many sheep I try to count
Hey this is my lonely
It never fails to keep me awake and feel worse about myself
It always reminds me of the things I can’t do, of the things I’m scared to do
It’s as if it whispers to me “you are not capable of doing that” or “you are a coward”
Hey this my lonely
Everyday when it visits me I cry myself to sleep
When it visits me I don’t know what to feel
Sometimes it also makes me not want to feel things anymore
Hey this is my lonely
It refrains me from speaking to others and telling them about it
It speaks at the back of my mind saying “when they ask you if you are okay, tell them you are”
It is selfish for not letting me tell others how I really feel
Hey this is my lonely
It’s like a thief stealing all the happiness I have
All the joy I left for myself, all the confidence I took years to earn, all the love I gave myself
It leaves nothing but traces of coming back
Of taking what’s still left of me
Hey this is my lonely
It keeps me company but not a good one
It makes me feel that it is a friend but in reality it’s a foe
It fights with my happy and always ends up triumphant
This lonely is a battle I always lose
A battle I never win even when I try
Hey this my lonely
I’m tired
Please take it away from me